badass.

It's Friday! I could potentially take this time to vent about all the exes, from serious to mild, who have been coming out of the woodwork lately. Seriously, it's as if I am living in an extended episode of "This Is Your Life!" Instead, I think I'll take some time to discuss my pet turtle. His name is Stuart.

I recently moved from Williamsburg to Prospect Heights and in addition to having double the space for significantly less money, my roommates and I inherited a turtle. Apparently Stuart came from Chinatown. He is small and chipper and lives on top of our refrigerator. We should probably clean his aquarium soon. Sometimes in the morning I feed him and make myself a cup of coffee. It is particularly enjoyable at these times to imagine Stu greeting me in a smoking jacket, complete with a bubble pipe. Pretty stellar picture being conjured in your mind right now, eh?

It turns out Stuart is pretty much a badass. He's illegal. Turtles are illegal to have as pets in New York due to the fact that they could possibly carry a pesky thing often referred to as "Ecoli". So it looks like I won't be licking Stu any time soon...and I'll probably wash my hands before I make a sandwich. Needless to say, it's likely Stubaby trades his bubble pipe for a switch blade once the sun goes down.

(image courtesy of kittyscorner.com)

EDIT: apparently turtles carry salmonella, not ecoli...in the future I'll probably do some research before a post...