maybe now.

I haven't posted in so long, but it makes me uneasy to leave this blog without some sort of ending. I've decided to stop procrastinating and figure things out. Figure it all out. Now.

Actually, right now I'm on a farm in North Carolina (below, you can see me post-tomato-harvest). But, I started the figuring before I left for vacation and will continue when I return.

If you'd like, you can also visit a new project of mine wherein I share quotes from books. Ooooooh!

http://quoteables.tumblr.com

...and then it was autumn.

How does this happen? How does time move so quickly?

It doesn't really. We just move from goal to goal and then stop to realize what has passed. Or something less cliche.

This fall, I've decided to embrace some literary endeavors. Like reading. And writing. Huh.

Something particularly fulfilling has been categorizing quotes. I've collected favorite lines, or the ones that stick in my head when the page has been turned, for several years and always fantasized (dork moment) about typing them up in a categorized and searchable way. Enter a spreadsheet. Boom. It's been slow going, but I appreciate 

all the words at my fingertips now.

Tonight I also begin Nabokov's Ada.

A word on pronunciation... taken from a facebook discussion board: 

"Ada. Ardor: "Ardor" indicates the Russian rather than American pronunciation of Ada's name (demonstrated by Marina at 39.16-17: "She pronounced it the Russian way with two deep, dark 'a's, making it sound rather like 'ardor'")..."

And that is all.

(this post is uninspired. if I could remember where I found this photo, I would tell you.)

...and then it was summer

It's been awhile, eh? I've decided that in an attempt to better myself, I'll be doing this again.

Future posts are likely to include the Midwest road trip I just returned from and the life plans stirring in my brain. For now, however, I'm going to just make a few comments on summertime generally. Baby steps.

This photo was featured on The Sartorialist at some point this season. It's from Italy and it represents my dreams of summer. While I sweat and gain bad body feelings from quitting smoking (yeah, that happened), I feel like this on the inside. Working towards pushing that out. Moving towards change, for me, is quite slow though. Longest gestation.

Of course, there's also a strong part of me that will think this looks like the worst kind of fun in summertime ever:


(also from thesartorialist.com)

jump!

In the true spirit of procrastination, I make it my duty to hunt down as many television programs as I can via the internet. This being my last semester in school, I have tons of work to do...or avoid. Hulu.com is a great help with this. The beginning of the semester was dedicated to Charles in Charge, Season 1.

Now, as a reward for accomplishing something with my Senior Work, I turn to 21 Jump Street. The Intro is infectious, and who can argue with the fashions of the late '80s? I've seen Jason Presley in two episodes and Bridget Fonda played a hobo in Season 1. The Reagan era really liked to see bad kids make good...or get put in jail. With "modern" takes on West Side Story and the ever present fight against crack, 21 Jump Street doesn't disappoint.

I'm pretty sure I'll have finished all Hulu has to offer before the end of school in two weeks.'Tis the season to be jolly and thankful...or something. The Street is really helping that aim.

(image courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com)

yes.

I often wish that I had been around for past decades. This picture (most pictures from this website, actually) only reinforces the belief.

(photo courtesy of myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com)

cat.

I realized that most of the pictures I take are of my cat.But that's okay, because she's cute.


Also, she helps me read.

freedom...?

And I'm back...

The past month or semester or lifetime has been a jumble. I was already stressed out by the school/work combination (further intensified by a need to do my senior work), and then the indescribable happened---a friend died. I'm sure I'll write about Abe in the future but most words and thoughts are hard to solidify. At the least, this has all been very strange and disconcerting.

In trying to find some stability of mind after this, I've unfortunately gotten behind in the work that really matters to me--school. So, I made some calculations and took the plunge. I quit my job and for the next month+ I will be cleaning my room, doing dishes, relaxing with my cat, alphabetizing the bookshelf, and, above all, writing about Joan Didion. Oh, I'll also be adding entries to this thing for to feel productive or accomplished or some hybrid therein.

I'm pretty nervous about what happens when the project is turned in and I've run low on funds. Mainly I'm trying to breathe and think only about the next two weeks. After they've passed I'll go further.
(image courtesy of artsjournal.com)

if I could be someone else entirely.

She's apparently from Dublin (at least that's where the picture was taken). Her life doesn't seem perfect, but I can't stop envying. Maybe she looks like a kindred spirit of the person I'd like to be.
(image from thesartorialist.com)

uncle.

It doesn't work that way?

(image courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com)

so long, goodbye.

Ok. It's funny how things happen---just recently I've been thinking about children. I used to believe I would not, under any circumstances, be able to have any. Now, I'm coming around to the idea of family...just a little bit. I in no way wish to be pregnant any time short of the next decade, but I think I might like to have a kid. One. One kid.

Considering the responsibility of having kids and the cost, I'm not sure I (possibly with the aid of some husband or something) could handle more than the one. In my mind, the only reason for having more is to be able to name them.

With that in mind, I visited an old favorite, Design Mom, today. I've been falling out of touch with her lately and I thought I'd check in. Well, after today, I can finally say: I'm over it. She's having another baby. That makes six kids in all. That's a lot. Perhaps I didn't notice before, but her posts on family are numerous and her Mormon roots are showing through a bit more. I don't have a problem with either, but these facts don't quite jive with the lifestyle I lead, or wish to have one day.

Therefore, on the best of terms, I part with you, DM. It was fantastic while it lasted, but I'm now replacing you with younger models.


(image found via a new favorite, ohjoy.blogs.com)

keuka lake.

I spent this past weekend in Upstate, NY---Bath and Hammondsport to be more exact (oh, and a lovely Hampton Inn in Painted Post,NY). Although the mission at hand was to spread the ashes of a close family friend who had grown up there, the trip was quite pleasant.

In addition to spending time with some people I don't get to see often, I picked Concord grapes off the vine, felt the autumn wind tangle my hair, and did some excellent food/wine tasting.

My favorite part of the trip had to have been Saturday night. Post ash-spreading, we put on our fancy clothes and made our way to dinner. On the way, after stopping at roadside stands to buy an assortment of baked goods, jams, butters, and gourds, we realized we were still early for our reservation and took a detour to one of the most simply beautiful places I've been: Garrett Chapel.

Garrett Chapel is built into the side of a hill, overlooking Keuka Lake (part of the Finger Lakes). It's natural stone architecture makes it look so at home in its environment. It's the type of place that makes me think of secret passages---especially when sitting on the Chapel's foliage covered benches at twilight.

I plan on being married there someday.

a tribute.

There's a certain young lady who makes me happy every time I see her. She gives me hope for future generations and cuts my hair. She's my little brother's best friend.

I can always depend on her for online photo albums that amuse me/help me waste time. Today I would like to share today's treat of images from a cornfield in the Berkshires. Thank you, Allie.

This is she:

favorite.

(image courtesy of cuteoverload.com)

compute.

Today has not been the best of days, as I have been informed that my computer (which unexpectedly died over the weekend) can be fixed at the loss of anything that was on it ever. This is not something one wants to hear, but I can only blame myself. You know, something about not backing my shit up, lesson learned, blahblahblah.

Hopefully this will, however, inspire a massive push towards note-taking and generally getting myself together in terms of my senior project. I have one more semester left of school and I probably should make the most of it.

I started reading a book recommended to me by an old professor called The Artful Edit by Susan Bell. It is pretty good (a nice break from Joan Didion---the basis of my final work in school). The combination of this and my friend Lisa's departure for China is getting me a bit excited for the possibilities of "After School is Done". It's a time I've been waiting for and it's going to be here very soon.

Follow-up: all of this business is also making me a Nervous Nancy.

(image courtesy of oliviamunn.com)
***

It might be time to plan an exit strategy. Here looks suitable:I stole this from an acquaintance's facebook page. Apparently, it is France.

an ode.

I'm losing steam. I think. I've decided not to beat myself up about not posing everyday, but it's hard to muster enough of an excuse to make the avoidance make sense to even myself. Does that sentence make sense? Probably not.

Well, a time has come. A time that only rolls through every so often: the desire to get stuff done. I WANT to take notes for my senior work. I WANT to clean my house. This is crazy. Truly. What is even more astounding, is my inability to do those things because I am at work. There is noting particularly pressing for me to do here, but work from my desk I must. Therefore, I will take this important clocked time to discuss one of my favorite and least appreciated items: Jamaican Beef Patties.

They are so fucking good. Akin to hot dogs with their mysterious innards, they can go from frozen to soft and delicious in a matter of moments (and only cost $1). They've got some kick. A friend introduced me to the wonders of adding onions and cheese to them, one of my happiest moments in memory.

It occurs to me that all my reasons for loving this food object might count as strikes against it, but it tastes so good at 4pm OR am, that I just don't care.

(image courtesy of iateapie.net)

family.

My cousin Bennett, whom I've recently become closer to, has started a blog (http://www.sonixperience.com/). It's exciting because of how much he wanted to do so. He aims to write about music as unpretentiously as possible.

His mission statement:
Our purpose is simple. We aim to document the experience- both physical and spiritual- that accompanies a melodic occurrence. Be it listening to a record for the first time or the hundredth, going to see a band for the first time or the last, we hope to capture the essence of the moment in a few choice words and images.

While our musical tastes might dance within the boundaries of a few select genres, we seek to expand the comfort zone of our auditory palate. We are not here to be seen, we are simply here to listen. We are equally interested in what “was” than what “is”. Perhaps most importantly, we seek to avoid the chatter and noise typically associated with this form of media, focusing in on the truth of the experience rather than how that truth might be perceived.

Thank you for reading. We look forward to the experiences ahead of us. See you there.

Well, the particularly nice thing for me is to look at his blog and see posts about my brother's band, Amazing Baby. I really appreciate seeing family come together in different ways---something that has been fairly absent from my life.

I hope to someday fit myself into the mix...working with gentlemen who've known me since before I was the little girl to the right sounds lovely.

yum.

It's always hard to decide what to eat during the summer. Extreme heat isn't known for encouraging hunger and eating like a rabbit seldom seems appealing.

My problem is when I am in the office. Mine is quite chilly and sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day is somewhat tedious. Stomach confused by changing heat patterns and mind numb, I've been in search of a snack that will help pass the time/nourish/not expand the gut.

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled on some curry covered cashews at a local market. They are delicious. I literally cannot stop eating them all day. At $10.85 a pound, this bulk habit is becoming an issue. I waddle away from work with an empty wallet--- that many cashews sit hard in the stomach.

Today I decided to get sidetracked by the prospect of crackers. The good ones cost more than they're worth, though, and some genius placed Pop-tarts directly next to them. Strawberry Pop-tarts. Today it was time for a walk down memory lane. I've eaten four already and am beginning to think this alternative isn't negating earlier snack issues.

Hmmm. A few short paragraphs into this and I think the problem might be my self control, rather than the food itself.

(image courtesy of thenutfactory.com)

home.

Yesterday, when I sat down to write my first post since getting back from vacation, I thought to myself, "Maybe later..."

Procrastinating in regards to a procrastination tool: is this a new low? Maybe. I've decided that I simply do not know where to begin with this post. Should I try to wrestle with the joy and drama that inevitably comes from going to a place that used to be something like home? Or would I rather banter about the trivialities of coffee versus tea?

My trip to Martha's Vineyard was too much. I think it might be best to leave it at that. I'm not sure when I'll finally be able to return to that island without turning into my angst-driven 17 year old self, if I ever will. Instead of testing those waters ever six months, I am going to take a longer break from the place. I will make an effort to see the people I love from there in new environments. I will acknowledge that Brooklyn is my home. Life moves forward.

Hopefully with this bit out of the way, I can return to idiosyncratic musings tomorrow.

(image courtesy of fineartamerica.com)

vacation.

This week I will be visiting the fine island of Martha's Vineyard for to sort through my childhood. In preparation for the emotional drainage/because once I get there I don't have internet, I will not be posting this week. Please take some time to mull over my whopping 13 previous posts.

(image courtesy of kennedyartgalleries.com)

tardy visual friday.

This post is tardy because last night I had a party.


Now I want to sleep forever.
(dog courtesy of dog-birthday-parties.com, lady courtesy of bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com)