maybe later

maybe now.

2011-07-13T13:21:00.006-04:00

I haven't posted in so long, but it makes me uneasy to leave this blog without some sort of ending. I've decided to stop procrastinating and figure things out. Figure it all out. Now.

Actually, right now I'm on a farm in North Carolina (below, you can see me post-tomato-harvest). But, I started the figuring before I left for vacation and will continue when I return.

If you'd like, you can also visit a new project of mine wherein I share quotes from books. Ooooooh!

http://quoteables.tumblr.com

...and then it was autumn.

2010-09-27T21:18:00.004-04:00

How does this happen? How does time move so quickly?

It doesn't really. We just move from goal to goal and then stop to realize what has passed. Or something less cliche.

This fall, I've decided to embrace some literary endeavors. Like reading. And writing. Huh.

Something particularly fulfilling has been categorizing quotes. I've collected favorite lines, or the ones that stick in my head when the page has been turned, for several years and always fantasized (dork moment) about typing them up in a categorized and searchable way. Enter a spreadsheet. Boom. It's been slow going, but I appreciate

all the words at my fingertips now.

Tonight I also begin Nabokov's Ada.

A word on pronunciation... taken from a facebook discussion board:

"Ada. Ardor: "Ardor" indicates the Russian rather than American pronunciation of Ada's name (demonstrated by Marina at 39.16-17: "She pronounced it the Russian way with two deep, dark 'a's, making it sound rather like 'ardor'")..."

And that is all.

(this post is uninspired. if I could remember where I found this photo, I would tell you.)

...and then it was summer

2010-07-31T13:24:00.006-04:00

It's been awhile, eh? I've decided that in an attempt to better myself, I'll be doing this again.

Future posts are likely to include the Midwest road trip I just returned from and the life plans stirring in my brain. For now, however, I'm going to just make a few comments on summertime generally. Baby steps.

This photo was featured on The Sartorialist at some point this season. It's from Italy and it represents my dreams of summer. While I sweat and gain bad body feelings from quitting smoking (yeah, that happened), I feel like this on the inside. Working towards pushing that out. Moving towards change, for me, is quite slow though. Longest gestation.

Of course, there's also a strong part of me that will think this looks like the worst kind of fun in summertime ever:

(also from thesartorialist.com)

jump!

2009-12-07T14:38:00.003-05:00

In the true spirit of procrastination, I make it my duty to hunt down as many television programs as I can via the internet. This being my last semester in school, I have tons of work to do...or avoid. Hulu.com is a great help with this. The beginning of the semester was dedicated to Charles in Charge, Season 1.

Now, as a reward for accomplishing something with my Senior Work, I turn to 21 Jump Street. The Intro is infectious, and who can argue with the fashions of the late '80s? I've seen Jason Presley in two episodes and Bridget Fonda played a hobo in Season 1. The Reagan era really liked to see bad kids make good...or get put in jail. With "modern" takes on West Side Story and the ever present fight against crack, 21 Jump Street doesn't disappoint.

I'm pretty sure I'll have finished all Hulu has to offer before the end of school in two weeks.'Tis the season to be jolly and thankful...or something. The Street is really helping that aim.

(image courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com)

yes.

2009-11-28T10:40:00.003-05:00

I often wish that I had been around for past decades. This picture (most pictures from this website, actually) only reinforces the belief.

(photo courtesy of myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com)

cat.

2009-11-22T20:45:00.005-05:00

I realized that most of the pictures I take are of my cat.But that's okay, because she's cute.

Also, she helps me read.

freedom...?

2009-11-14T12:36:00.004-05:00

And I'm back...

The past month or semester or lifetime has been a jumble. I was already stressed out by the school/work combination (further intensified by a need to do my senior work), and then the indescribable happened---a friend died. I'm sure I'll write about Abe in the future but most words and thoughts are hard to solidify. At the least, this has all been very strange and disconcerting.

In trying to find some stability of mind after this, I've unfortunately gotten behind in the work that really matters to me--school. So, I made some calculations and took the plunge. I quit my job and for the next month+ I will be cleaning my room, doing dishes, relaxing with my cat, alphabetizing the bookshelf, and, above all, writing about Joan Didion. Oh, I'll also be adding entries to this thing for to feel productive or accomplished or some hybrid therein.

I'm pretty nervous about what happens when the project is turned in and I've run low on funds. Mainly I'm trying to breathe and think only about the next two weeks. After they've passed I'll go further.
(image courtesy of artsjournal.com)

if I could be someone else entirely.

2009-10-13T10:04:00.003-04:00

She's apparently from Dublin (at least that's where the picture was taken). Her life doesn't seem perfect, but I can't stop envying. Maybe she looks like a kindred spirit of the person I'd like to be.
(image from thesartorialist.com)

uncle.

2009-10-11T19:04:00.003-04:00

It doesn't work that way?

(image courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com)

so long, goodbye.

2009-09-29T12:47:00.003-04:00

Ok. It's funny how things happen---just recently I've been thinking about children. I used to believe I would not, under any circumstances, be able to have any. Now, I'm coming around to the idea of family...just a little bit. I in no way wish to be pregnant any time short of the next decade, but I think I might like to have a kid. One. One kid.

Considering the responsibility of having kids and the cost, I'm not sure I (possibly with the aid of some husband or something) could handle more than the one. In my mind, the only reason for having more is to be able to name them.

With that in mind, I visited an old favorite, Design Mom, today. I've been falling out of touch with her lately and I thought I'd check in. Well, after today, I can finally say: I'm over it. She's having another baby. That makes six kids in all. That's a lot. Perhaps I didn't notice before, but her posts on family are numerous and her Mormon roots are showing through a bit more. I don't have a problem with either, but these facts don't quite jive with the lifestyle I lead, or wish to have one day.

Therefore, on the best of terms, I part with you, DM. It was fantastic while it lasted, but I'm now replacing you with younger models.

(image found via a new favorite, ohjoy.blogs.com)

keuka lake.

2009-09-28T13:53:00.005-04:00

I spent this past weekend in Upstate, NY---Bath and Hammondsport to be more exact (oh, and a lovely Hampton Inn in Painted Post,NY). Although the mission at hand was to spread the ashes of a close family friend who had grown up there, the trip was quite pleasant.

In addition to spending time with some people I don't get to see often, I picked Concord grapes off the vine, felt the autumn wind tangle my hair, and did some excellent food/wine tasting.

My favorite part of the trip had to have been Saturday night. Post ash-spreading, we put on our fancy clothes and made our way to dinner. On the way, after stopping at roadside stands to buy an assortment of baked goods, jams, butters, and gourds, we realized we were still early for our reservation and took a detour to one of the most simply beautiful places I've been: Garrett Chapel.

Garrett Chapel is built into the side of a hill, overlooking Keuka Lake (part of the Finger Lakes). It's natural stone architecture makes it look so at home in its environment. It's the type of place that makes me think of secret passages---especially when sitting on the Chapel's foliage covered benches at twilight.

I plan on being married there someday.

a tribute.

2009-09-01T12:15:00.005-04:00

There's a certain young lady who makes me happy every time I see her. She gives me hope for future generations and cuts my hair. She's my little brother's best friend.

I can always depend on her for online photo albums that amuse me/help me waste time. Today I would like to share today's treat of images from a cornfield in the Berkshires. Thank you, Allie.

This is she:

favorite.

2009-08-28T16:21:00.003-04:00

(image courtesy of cuteoverload.com)

compute.

2009-08-19T13:28:00.003-04:00

Today has not been the best of days, as I have been informed that my computer (which unexpectedly died over the weekend) can be fixed at the loss of anything that was on it ever. This is not something one wants to hear, but I can only blame myself. You know, something about not backing my shit up, lesson learned, blahblahblah.

Hopefully this will, however, inspire a massive push towards note-taking and generally getting myself together in terms of my senior project. I have one more semester left of school and I probably should make the most of it.

I started reading a book recommended to me by an old professor called The Artful Edit by Susan Bell. It is pretty good (a nice break from Joan Didion---the basis of my final work in school). The combination of this and my friend Lisa's departure for China is getting me a bit excited for the possibilities of "After School is Done". It's a time I've been waiting for and it's going to be here very soon.

Follow-up: all of this business is also making me a Nervous Nancy.

(image courtesy of oliviamunn.com)
***

It might be time to plan an exit strategy. Here looks suitable:I stole this from an acquaintance's facebook page. Apparently, it is France.

an ode.

2009-08-12T11:11:00.002-04:00

I'm losing steam. I think. I've decided not to beat myself up about not posing everyday, but it's hard to muster enough of an excuse to make the avoidance make sense to even myself. Does that sentence make sense? Probably not.

Well, a time has come. A time that only rolls through every so often: the desire to get stuff done. I WANT to take notes for my senior work. I WANT to clean my house. This is crazy. Truly. What is even more astounding, is my inability to do those things because I am at work. There is noting particularly pressing for me to do here, but work from my desk I must. Therefore, I will take this important clocked time to discuss one of my favorite and least appreciated items: Jamaican Beef Patties.

They are so fucking good. Akin to hot dogs with their mysterious innards, they can go from frozen to soft and delicious in a matter of moments (and only cost $1). They've got some kick. A friend introduced me to the wonders of adding onions and cheese to them, one of my happiest moments in memory.

It occurs to me that all my reasons for loving this food object might count as strikes against it, but it tastes so good at 4pm OR am, that I just don't care.

(image courtesy of iateapie.net)

family.

2009-08-06T16:03:00.006-04:00

My cousin Bennett, whom I've recently become closer to, has started a blog (http://www.sonixperience.com/). It's exciting because of how much he wanted to do so. He aims to write about music as unpretentiously as possible.

His mission statement:
Our purpose is simple. We aim to document the experience- both physical and spiritual- that accompanies a melodic occurrence. Be it listening to a record for the first time or the hundredth, going to see a band for the first time or the last, we hope to capture the essence of the moment in a few choice words and images.

While our musical tastes might dance within the boundaries of a few select genres, we seek to expand the comfort zone of our auditory palate. We are not here to be seen, we are simply here to listen. We are equally interested in what “was” than what “is”. Perhaps most importantly, we seek to avoid the chatter and noise typically associated with this form of media, focusing in on the truth of the experience rather than how that truth might be perceived.

Thank you for reading. We look forward to the experiences ahead of us. See you there.

Well, the particularly nice thing for me is to look at his blog and see posts about my brother's band, Amazing Baby. I really appreciate seeing family come together in different ways---something that has been fairly absent from my life.

I hope to someday fit myself into the mix...working with gentlemen who've known me since before I was the little girl to the right sounds lovely.

yum.

2009-08-05T16:35:00.002-04:00

It's always hard to decide what to eat during the summer. Extreme heat isn't known for encouraging hunger and eating like a rabbit seldom seems appealing.

My problem is when I am in the office. Mine is quite chilly and sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day is somewhat tedious. Stomach confused by changing heat patterns and mind numb, I've been in search of a snack that will help pass the time/nourish/not expand the gut.

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled on some curry covered cashews at a local market. They are delicious. I literally cannot stop eating them all day. At $10.85 a pound, this bulk habit is becoming an issue. I waddle away from work with an empty wallet--- that many cashews sit hard in the stomach.

Today I decided to get sidetracked by the prospect of crackers. The good ones cost more than they're worth, though, and some genius placed Pop-tarts directly next to them. Strawberry Pop-tarts. Today it was time for a walk down memory lane. I've eaten four already and am beginning to think this alternative isn't negating earlier snack issues.

Hmmm. A few short paragraphs into this and I think the problem might be my self control, rather than the food itself.

(image courtesy of thenutfactory.com)

home.

2009-08-04T11:25:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, when I sat down to write my first post since getting back from vacation, I thought to myself, "Maybe later..."

Procrastinating in regards to a procrastination tool: is this a new low? Maybe. I've decided that I simply do not know where to begin with this post. Should I try to wrestle with the joy and drama that inevitably comes from going to a place that used to be something like home? Or would I rather banter about the trivialities of coffee versus tea?

My trip to Martha's Vineyard was too much. I think it might be best to leave it at that. I'm not sure when I'll finally be able to return to that island without turning into my angst-driven 17 year old self, if I ever will. Instead of testing those waters ever six months, I am going to take a longer break from the place. I will make an effort to see the people I love from there in new environments. I will acknowledge that Brooklyn is my home. Life moves forward.

Hopefully with this bit out of the way, I can return to idiosyncratic musings tomorrow.

(image courtesy of fineartamerica.com)

vacation.

2009-07-27T16:40:00.003-04:00

This week I will be visiting the fine island of Martha's Vineyard for to sort through my childhood. In preparation for the emotional drainage/because once I get there I don't have internet, I will not be posting this week. Please take some time to mull over my whopping 13 previous posts.

(image courtesy of kennedyartgalleries.com)

tardy visual friday.

2009-07-25T11:40:00.003-04:00

This post is tardy because last night I had a party.

Now I want to sleep forever.
(dog courtesy of dog-birthday-parties.com, lady courtesy of bitsandpieces1.blogspot.com)

theater(re?).

2009-07-23T22:52:00.003-04:00

This evening I sat through a reading of a play. While I enjoy most things that take place on a stage, and understand that there needs to be readings in order to help the playwright with his or her "process", some do not understand the fine art of initial edits. 2.25 hours of a possibly amnesiac sailor and his exploits in an unknown city. Wow.

The setting might have been Europe (discotheques were mentioned), and it seemed timeless until blogs were mentioned. Each actor reading had a few parts to play, though they all blended into one as the soft bearded man had a penchant for "voices" and the less soft bearded fellow favored ironic tones.

There were, I must admit, some good lines in the show, none of which are in my mind at this moment.

It was raining as I left the theater and I was dismayed to find out that the milkshake machine at McDonalds (my focus during the entire piece) was broken. Slightly damp, with a runner-up McFlurry in hand, I went home now fantasizing about tea and a bath.

I haven't indulged in either the beverage or act of warmth because I am still stuck on the one thing I learned: having one character absorbing another is an unoriginal thought (something unknown to me when I used it in my own work).

(image courtesy of wikimedia.org)

happy place.

2009-07-22T14:26:00.005-04:00

Today I'm a grump and haven't the energy for a full post. Visual Friday comes early? Maybe.

I wish I could fall asleep at my desk.

And dream about a day here.

Close-up:So much frolicking.

(painting courtesy of philsmith.us, flowers courtesy of dailyyonder.com)

soggy.

2009-07-21T14:27:00.002-04:00

Today I failed at dressing myself. This happens almost every time there is inclement weather... somehow I believe sneakers, jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt are appropriate for a rain storm (I mean, there's a hood, right?). Even when I take my first step outside and it becomes glaringly apparent I've made a mistake, I don't turn back. This morning I glanced at my leather purse on occasion and wondered how well it would shield the electronics inside and sloughed to the train.

It's cold for a summer day and I cannot help but be a little peeved that I have to spend my time at work, rather than in bed with a book and a movie and computer solitaire. My mind is wandering to the fires we had in our fireplaces when I was growing up (I use the plural not because I had several in one home, but because I lived in several houses). Fires are the best and, like hot baths, even acceptable to me in the summer when it's raining and (relatively) cold.

I don't put my wool sweaters away when warm weather comes because of days like today. If I were home, I would put one on (inevitably overheat, take it off, get cold, put it back on, etc) and make myself a cup of tea.

Instead, I'll keep opening, closing, and re-opening Facebook whilst trying not to think about my soggy toes. Oh, and do my job.

(image courtesy of pachd.com)

nighttime.

2009-07-20T13:08:00.004-04:00

This weekend I was reminded of my favorite part of living in New York City: driving over the bridges at night. I love crossing the (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Williamsburg) Bridge, looking at the skyline lit up, and thinking: this is my city.

Usually I make the trip by myself from the back of a cab. The night is just starting and I have decided to afford myself the luxury of basking in anxious anticipation of what's to come. This past Saturday, I was crammed into the back of a friend's car and closed my eyes as the wind streaming through the window whipped my hair around.

Both scenarios are fantastic, and it seems as if I can only describe them in cliches.

Luckily, to offset the loveliness of the first ride is the inevitable second ride of the night. This one is taken to ensure I actually get home. I don't so much gaze at the scenery as glaze at it. By the time I reach my bed, I get to remind myself: "Whatever I did tonight is okay." Which is not so much part of my favorite bits of living in a city as it is a necessary one...

(image courtesy of visuallee.com)

visual friday.

2009-07-17T13:06:00.010-04:00

It would be nice to live behind a turquoise door.

Here is the kitchen of such an abode.

The bedroom would look like this.

Welcome to the sunniest of backyards.

I have encountered each of these places in real life and it is nice to think about bringing them all together. Sometimes I think that is what true happiness is: taking your most pleasant moments from always and living in them all at the same time.

clothes.

2009-07-16T11:08:00.004-04:00

I was going to write about the newest addition to my household today: Fluff, the cat. She's been in my family, bouncing from house to house, since I was twelve. Now I get the opportunity to have her around and begin the transition into crazy cat lady (which I've always not so secretly believed is my destiny). She's fat, she's cute---just not worthy of an entire entry...I suppose this means that my transformation to CCL is not complete.

Moving forward. I've known about a blog called The Sartorialist for a little while but have never taken the time to really check it out. This changed a few days ago when a friend sent me a link (in hopes that I'd expand my internet horizons). She knows how much I like pictures, so it seemed fitting, and it was. Since I started looking, I have gone back through all the archives, beginning in September 2005.

My friend's timing was quite fortuitous. With my new apartment comes a new, very large, closet and dresser. I can now actually see all the clothes and shoes I own. Looking at The Sartorialist's pictures from the streets of New York, Paris, Milan, etc., I have been inspired to use my wardrobe to its fullest potential. I don't think I'll be strolling the streets in the number to the right, but the movement in the picture is fantastic.

That's right, just look at how the garment moves.

(image courtesy of thesartorialist.blogspot.com)

good morning.

2009-07-15T09:53:00.003-04:00

This morning I decided to take a car to work. It's payday, I was tired, whatever. Well, I had the great luck to be picked-up by a minivan. It soon became apparent that we would not be listening to the radio, but instead a speech of sorts. About the conspiracy behind Big Bankers and how they've brought about the deaths of two American Presidents.

Uh, what?

Apparently Abraham Lincoln burned alone in a barn---he had nothing but his own weapon and a dream. JFK's attempt to fix the economy brought his demise. Oh, and a pope was killed for crossing Big Bankers as well.

There was a super highway connecting Mexico, The United States, and Canada involved. The three countries were going to merge economies and produce currency called the Amero.

Apparently I truly live under a rock, because it turns out that the speech took place on March 8, 2009 (my driver had it on CD and liked to recite along with the speaker). Who was the speaker? Louis Farrakhan. Well, Louis...thank you for my history lesson of the day.

(Amero image courtesy of laterminalrosario.wordpress.com)

red red.

2009-07-14T12:12:00.004-04:00

I once had a conversation with someone regarding what it takes to make you an adult. Since I'm mainly a 13/47 year-old girl (depending on the day...or hour) trapped in the body of a twenty-something, I do think about this often. When will the transition take place? At what moment does one stop being a big kid and start being an adult? Lately I've realized the process is probably a slow burn, though I can't help but think that I'll wake-up one day and think, "Oh my. It's happened."

In the aforementioned conversation, two things were mentioned that mark the change from boy to man. 1) The ability to swallow pills without water. This seems as if it might be reserved for swarthy older men and precocious teens. I'm able to do it, but I spend some concentrated time stirring up spittle before hand. I've also known a 70-year-old woman who had not graduated past children's chewable Tylenol. She was definitely an adult.

The second point is when one has a newspaper delivered to their home on a daily basis AND they sit down to read it, cover to cover. When I was younger, I imagined myself in a large men's button-up shirt and glasses, musing over the headlines with my morning cup of coffee. The day that this will happen is still easily decades away.

I am reminded most often that I am "not yet a woman" (thank you, Britney Spears) when I buy a bottle of wine. Near my office in DUMBO is a wine shop called Blanc et Rouge. French, non? Sometimes I stop there on my way home from work. Stepping inside a wine store makes me feel as if I am a toddler walking in my father's shoes. I stroll around, trying to look at ease, likely to accidentally bump into a towering glass display at any time.

It is at Blanc et Rouge where I found one of my favorite wines...I know enough about my personal taste to stay within the Pinots (Noir over Merlot, Grigio over Chardonnay). From there, price and label rule the choice. Fleur de California costs a bit more than my usual Trader Joe's, but the label is definitely worth it (vintagey looking flowers on a green glass bottle? come on).

Uh, it tastes good too.

Anyway, when I am sitting in my apartment after a day at the office, sipping Fleur's Pinot Noir, I think, "Oh my. Has it happened? Doubtful."

(picture courtesy of thekitchn.com)

brighton beach.

2009-07-13T13:57:00.005-04:00

Having moved to New York from an island, I assumed going to the beach in the city would be a bit of a disappointment, if not a fairly unsanitary affair (could people even go in the water?). It turns out I was wrong.

My friend Eugenia took me to Brighton Beach on Sunday. It is not particularly picturesque, however the people watching was fantastic. In addition, I sat near a group of teenagers who reminded me why it's best to move forward in time and not backwards.

I got some sun, I walked into the water and ate some flavored ice. My new bathing suit and ridiculously large hat made me feel mildly fantastic. Better yet, smoking at a city beach doesn't feel like a violation of nature. Next time I'll bring my cigarette holder and really show the gentlemen with too much body hair and too little bathing suit what's what.

(Esther Williams comes compliments of fashionrat.com)

badass.

2009-07-10T11:03:00.005-04:00

It's Friday! I could potentially take this time to vent about all the exes, from serious to mild, who have been coming out of the woodwork lately. Seriously, it's as if I am living in an extended episode of "This Is Your Life!" Instead, I think I'll take some time to discuss my pet turtle. His name is Stuart.

I recently moved from Williamsburg to Prospect Heights and in addition to having double the space for significantly less money, my roommates and I inherited a turtle. Apparently Stuart came from Chinatown. He is small and chipper and lives on top of our refrigerator. We should probably clean his aquarium soon. Sometimes in the morning I feed him and make myself a cup of coffee. It is particularly enjoyable at these times to imagine Stu greeting me in a smoking jacket, complete with a bubble pipe. Pretty stellar picture being conjured in your mind right now, eh?

It turns out Stuart is pretty much a badass. He's illegal. Turtles are illegal to have as pets in New York due to the fact that they could possibly carry a pesky thing often referred to as "Ecoli". So it looks like I won't be licking Stu any time soon...and I'll probably wash my hands before I make a sandwich. Needless to say, it's likely Stubaby trades his bubble pipe for a switch blade once the sun goes down.

(image courtesy of kittyscorner.com)

EDIT: apparently turtles carry salmonella, not ecoli...in the future I'll probably do some research before a post...

guilty pleasure.

2009-07-09T10:09:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I feel bad about smoking; sometimes I feel bad about drinking. However, I would not consider these to be guilty pleasures...vices, if anything. Because I am young, I don't think I ought to feel guilty about most of the things I do (that doesn't mean that I don't...it just means that I know I shouldn't). From what I can tell, I have a good thirty years before ice cream would even qualify as a guilty pleasure (thank you, commercials targeted at middle aged women).

Something I do spend some time thinking about is how I navigate the internet. I'm not someone who is terribly interested in picking up a newspaper, therefore you can guess that the hard-hitting, information saturated sites aren't at the top of my visiting list. I am not proud to admit that most of my news comes from jezebel.com or perezhilton.com, but you know what? They have their moments. Plus, Jezebel's "The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly" gives me a daily gallery of eye catching togs. These sites are tabloid magazines updated by the moment. Awesome.

Now comes the admission of my guilty pleasure: my third favorite blog. It isn't updated as often as the others, and maybe (considering my affinity for Martha Stewart Living) you won't be too surprised. I love designmom.com. The "Design Mom" is a woman named Gabrielle Blair and, according to her, she is: "a designer/art director and mother of five. [She posts] on where design and motherhood intersect." It's true. Her posts are either about her children, decorating a family home, or parents' date nights. I love it.

There is little-to-no reason for me to read what the Design Mom has to say, but somehow she fascinates me. I know way too much about her life: from the details of her recent move to Colorado to what her siblings like to post about on their blogs. She may or may not be a mormon, but she's certainly pretty cool in a mildly out of touch way. My appreciation might, in part, stem from the fact that I've tried more than once to have her post about the website I work for (definitely in her league of postable items) and she's never responded.

Congratulations, Gabrielle Blair. You are an enigma to me.

P.S. She's in Chicago right now.

(image of Chicago courtesy of designmom.com)

an introduction.

2009-07-08T14:13:00.010-04:00

I love flowers; I am drawn to them. Of course, when they smell delicious it's an added bonus and their petals feel great between my fingers or grazing my upper lip. But I find them more visually appealing than anything. I allow my grandmother to get me a subscription to Martha Stewart Living every year simply so I can see a dozen different flowers of the same shade pinned to a cork board.

(image courtesy of marthastewartweddings.com)

There is one flower in particular that fascinates me, however, because of how common it is: the carnation. It doesn't make sense. The main purpose of this flower is to be sold at supermarkets and bodegas where "fresh" isn't a word used too often. They are an impulse buy, a way to say sorry when you're not really that sorry, the peanut in a can of mixed nuts.

What I find most interesting about this flower, however, is my inability to imagine it in the wild. Seriously, have you ever stumbled on a field of fully grown carnations? Can you imagine if a gust of wind blew through them? Oh, the awkward flailing that would ensue. None of their bulbous joints bending freely with what nature has wrought. I do an impression of how I think it must look when a carnation blows in the wind. If you're reading this, you've probably been lucky enough to see it.

In summary: I like flowers. I think about them a bunch.